When Life Gives You Lemons
by samthecg
Summary: Chapter two is up! This is a fic with many POVs. They're done by characters writing down in journals. It's my first try at a serious fic. I really hope you like it. I'm trying hard!
1. Writing It Down

Author's note.  
  
Hello everyone reading this. This is my first serious fic. The other one shows me at my craziest and I hope that this one can be the opposite. Humor is easier, in my opinion, to write than drama. So I hope you understand that this most likely won't be the best thing you've ever read. But I'll do my best to make it good. Thank you very much to Lilliana for the help on coming up with ideas for this fic. You have no idea how much you help me. And also Chocki aka Freebs for betaing this fic. Holie too! I get 2! I'm special!  
  
  
  
This fic will be written as different POVs. Mostly the women. Why? Because I'm making this written as journal entries. I just see that as more of a girly thing. But I will include the men, don't you worry.  
  
  
  
Disclamer: I don't own any of the characters. Which is good, because if I did, the show wouldn't be as good. I think that TPTB do a good enough job. But there are some things they could change.  
  
Of course, that is just my opinion.  
  
  
  
Setting: Season nine, right before Kisangani.   
  
  
  
*~*Abby*~*  
  
  
  
I can't believe I'm writing in a diary. Me. It's so... out of character. But I got this... urge. Urge to write. In the middle of watching the news. It had a story about an accident on the highway. A few people died. They didn't come to County, but I heard that and realized that I don't want to die, like those people, with nothing to be remembered by. So I scavenged around my apartment, looking for some kind of notebook and I found this. I've had this for so long. The previous pages hold my previous attempts at putting my feelings on paper. Here's yet another. Maybe I'll actually write more than once. Unlikely, but it could happen.   
  
  
  
Today, was not one of the best days. Carter and I still aren't talking. He's become so, I don't know. Distant. He doesn't tell me anything anymore. I guess he's been through a lot recently. But he can turn to me. Why doesn't he? I used to be the troubled one, the one who wields secrets. He's taken over that role.  
  
  
  
I care about him so much. I didn't show it, but it was there. Now everything we've built up between us is crumbling. And I don't know how to stop it.   
  
  
  
I can't dwell on Carter any longer. I already do that too much. What else is going on? Sure, there's always Eric and Maggie, but I'm not going there. Not now.   
  
  
  
Maybe work- I should write about work. I'm always there. My life is my job. It was busy, no surprise there. Not very eventful. The odd trauma. Mostly stomach aches and the same old cuts and scrapes. Not much fun there.  
  
  
  
Ooh. Fear Factor is on. It's sad, what people will do for money. I could never go on that show. 50 000 dollars to eat some uncooked animal part? And there are the taxes too! I'd never do it. But it is entertaining, I'll give you that. Carter hates these reality shows. Once he said something about the horsemen of the apocalypse. Carter. How did I get back to Carter. I don't want to think about him anymore. I'd rather give my undivided attention to Fear Factor.  
  
  
  
{*}Elizabeth{*}  
  
  
  
Here I am. Writing in this journal. Mark gave it to me. I just found it and I figured that it should be put to good use. Ella's asleep and I was cleaning up. The house is so quiet right now. It's the perfect situation to write like this. Hopefully there will be no interruptions.   
  
  
  
To no surprise, Ella woke up. Right as I write the word interruptions, she seemed to read my mind and cry out. Murphy's law. Well, she's back in bed and I figure that I should continue with this.  
  
  
  
Today was quite uneventful at the hospital. Not much happened. Out of the ordinary, that is. I like it. Routine. It's very simple. Knowing what will happen next. I guess that at the back of my mind, I know that something can happen, but it doesn't seem to be that way. Nothing weird has happened for awhile and I want it to stay that way.  
  
  
  
Robert. I feel so bad for that man. Nothing is going right for him. Since the accident, nothing has been the same for him. For God's sakes, he lost his job. Possibly the one thing that he loved the most, has been taken away from him. But he hasn't lost me. The feelings between us aren't mutual, but I can be his friend. I can be there for him.   
  
  
  
Oh, look at the time- 11 and I have a shift tomorrow morning. I guess that I should stop here then. I wonder how people end these things?  
  
^*^ Susan ^*^  
  
I'm writing again, sorry for the break, but I've been busy. Work and stuff. You know. I got home and was going to go to sleep right away, but I saw my little notebook, sitting on the desk. I couldn't resist. I had to write, even if nothing really happened today. At work, there was nothing out of the ordinary. It was boring. I like interesting things. Interesting patients make the day go by a bit faster. Since the day was so ordinary and I didn't feel like treating some hypochondriac that shows up twice a week, I took my coffee break at the same time as Abby. Just to talk. Girl stuff. But she seemed distracted. We usually have great conversations, but today Abby stared out of Doc's window, and said barely a word. I tried so many topics, but none worked. She'd just nod while I yap my head off, looking like an idiot. I think I'm going to take my coffee breaks alone. Better than with her. Or anyone else. Maybe I should walk around with a coffee all day and actually treat the hypochondriacs. Or something like that. I don't know how you can actually treat a hypochondriac. But I mean that I should stop forcing them upon Gallant. That's what I'll do. Next shift.   
  
Hmm. What else happened today. Nothing. Wow. My life is so exciting. Why do I even bother to write this stuff down. It's a waste of effort, writing something you know that know one should ever read. Why do I write? I think it's because I don't want to disappear in the midst of everyone else. Maybe this is my... legacy. No, not legacy. I don't know. Something. I want to have something.   
  
All this thinking has made me even more exhausted, if that's posssible. I'm going to sleep.  
  
***  
  
There. That was quite difficult. Actually, more like long. But I like it so far, and I'm going to keep going. I really like reviews. If you review, say what you think. The truth won't hurt me. This is my first attempt at a serious fic, so I want comments. And tell me if you like it. I value your opinion. ~Sammie. 


	2. Trying To Forget

When Life Gives You Lemons. Chapter two.  
  
Author's note. Hello reader. First, I'm going to thank you for reading this. It sounds lame, but I appreciate it. I have some thanking to do. First, to Holie and Chocki, otherwise known as Lilliana and Friya, for betaing this, and also for the positive encouragement. If it weren't for that, I probably wouldn't be continuing this fic. Luckily for you, I'm continuing. Now, here's chapter two. Read on.  
  
Disclamer:I accidentally forgot this last chapter. Oops! But I need to tell you that I don't own any of the characters. Or the TV show. Too bad. If so, the show would be way stupider. Even though this is a serious fic, I'd rather write stupid stuff. It's a lot easier.  
  
(Note: This was added later, but thanks to anonymouse, Mealz, Chocki and ILuvCarbyFuzz for the reviews. I am gonna write for the guys, even if it isn't typical. I'll do that this chappy! I'm happy that the guy parts would be accepted.)  
  
(Another note: 4 reviews for one chapter? That's a big deal for me. Thank you, thank you thank you! The way this project has been received is amazing. Thanks again.)  
  
*~*Abby*~*  
  
I can't believe he didn't tell me. Carter. That he's going to Africa. He didn't tell me. I found out, but not from him. I really don't want him to go. Sure, he'll be helping so many people. But I'm selfish, I guess. I don't want anything to happen to him. Not while things are like this. Not ever.  
  
This time, I'm not going to go into further detail about Carter. I didn't do much. Went to work, came here. The same routine. Today was busy, though. Without Luka, we're understaffed. And with Carter leaving, I can just imagine how hectic it'll be. I didn't really talk to Carter. It's hard to work with someone, yet not speak to them. We purposly didn't work together. It's more work, but it saved us from some very awkward moments. Susan didn't try to talk to me today. Last time, that we had a break, we talked. Barely. Oh shit. I know why she didn't talk to me. I'm acting like Carter. I don't want to do that. How can I fix this. I'm such a hypocrite. Hating what he does, but yet doing it myself. Here's an idea. Susan's off right now. I think I'll call her. Talk to her. It'll be good for the both of us.  
  
---  
  
Susan is coming over. In a few minutes. To talk. It'll patch things up, I hope.  
  
---  
  
That helped. Wow. We talked for a long time. About everything. What a load off my chest. Talking helped. I didn't realize what was inside before I let it out. I helped Susan too. When somebody doesn't talk to you, or listen to you, that hurts. I know from experience, unfortunately for me. I can't let myself do that again. Good thing she forgave me. What would I have done if she hadn't. Oh, sure, deep down I knew that she'd be fine with it, she'd let it go, but there was the rest of me saying she'll hate me for life. I'm so negative. She's my friend, for God's sake. She'd forgive me. Still, the nagging part of me said she wouldn't. And It won't let it go. Ugh. I bet she's really mad, but acting like everything's okay. NO! What am I saying? I can't do this anymore. I need to forget about this. About Carter, about negativity. Just forget. That'll be nice.  
  
***  
  
//\Luka/\\  
  
Quiet. This place is so busy, quiet is hard to come by. It doesn't matter. I don't need quiet to think. Here, so many memories have resurfaced, some of which I'd like to forget about. But I know that won't happen. I have this journal, I was going to use it as a notebook. Write down the cases I get. But I don't need a notebook. I need somebody that I can really talk to. That won't happen here. I don't have enough trust in anybody to let my feelings out. Come to think of it, that won't really happen anywhere, no matter how bad I want it. I'll have to settle for a notebook. This place brings out so much history, in a way. Not directly, but it's like my history. War, innocent victims, despicable medical facilities, they all remind me of home. Of Danjiela. Of my children. Of my old life. I have come to terms with what happened, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It will always hurt.  
  
What am I doing? Putting more trust into a book instead of a human being. I can't do this. I'm not good at writing. I'll keep my thoughts in my head.  
  
***  
  
}{Carter}{  
  
I still can't believe my eyes. At first glance, I was stupefied. But reality is sinking in and I still don't believe it. The simplest medicine is all that exists here. Barely any medicine, scarcely any equipment, and there aren't enough doctors and nurses. We complain at County if we're one short. This place is just continually short. By how much? I don't know. Too much. This phrase has been used too much but I really take my life for granted. The fact that we have eliminated so many diseases back home, diseases that still ravage through places like these, is something I take for granted. Money. Not the millions I have, but enough to give my family food, water, medicine, is something else I take for granted. The fact that most kids see their adult years is yet another thing I take for granted. Even though I'm here. Somewhere that nothing is taken for granted, I still haven't grasped these facts. I can state them, sure, but I can't absorb them. Understand them. I take my whole life for granted, even still. I shouldn't. But I do. I take Abby for granted, knowing she'll still be there when I get back. I don't think she thinks of me that way. That's a good thing, I think. But why do I still act like this towards her. I once told her that I'd be there. Always. But right now, I'm not quite there, am I? How can I do this to her? To me? To us?  
  
***  
  
There. Three entries. I was going to write Romano, but, I don't know, I can't tell how he's thinking. I want to, but the fact that I could put work into something that I'm not happy with, deters me. If you want to, I'll give you all the due credit, and I'll include it in this fic. No pressure. Email me if it interests you at happythehippo48@hotmail.com You can do any character that I haven't done yet. Thanks for reading. Review please. They're always welcome. ~Samantha. 


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